I flashback to a moment in my former corporate life.

We had just spent the last two months pitching a piece of business and had found out via a phone call that we had come in that notorious “2nd place”. This one stung as we knew we had shown well. We had done everything right including delighting the prospect who shared as much. In their words, we completely surprised them as we were supposed to be the filler round-out-the field pitch agency. Instead, we learned we wildly exceeded expectations in every way.

So here we were. The news was just shared with the founders of my firm. And one of my partners thought it was best to send this unfortunate break-our-hearts breaking news out to the team as an email.

“You can’t be serious.”

Judging by the blank deer-in-headlights stare looking back at me, it was now evident this was his lead idea.

I blurted out one more word:

“No.”

Our team had poured themselves into this pitch. Worked countless weekends. Rolled up their sleeves and made amazing work that clearly had made the impression we desired.

Sending out an email might serve us (the partners) because it was easy. But it certainly doesn’t let the team feel our gratitude.

It’s ironic that here I am now in the leadership arena. Do our experiences shape our futures? Absolutely. I learned more about being a leader from my last life even when I was leader-in-training more than a leader myself. For the last 7 years, I have now been able to look under the hood at leadership. I’ve had a front row seat to see how courageous leadership fosters innovation and positive change within organizations, helping businesses thrive in competitive environments. I’ve learned a thing or two about the differences between a Cowardly Leader and a Courageous Leader.

Here’s five differentiators that separate the two:

1. Lead Through Vision (vs Lead Through Fear).

   Put your business on pause for one second. Snag a piece of paper. Jot down a line straight down the center of the page. Now, on the top left column, write, “Leading Through Vision”. On the top right column, ink, “Leading Through Fear”.  Now write down the names of the people in your organization who land in the left column vs the right column. What did you learn about your organization? If you added yourself, which column would you fall in? If you are a courageous leader, you are leading through declared principals, values or a “true north” vision. This is the cadence courageous leaders clearly drive forward with their teams. They have identified and operationalized a “shared quest” (something we call SQUID) that the team has bought in on. Let’s say for a moment that you are a good leader but you just don’t have the exact words from leadership to lead. Have the courage to say so with your leaders. It’s SO hard to 1) get clear and 2) be clear. Seek it out and drive this home in everything you do. The Courageous Leader doesn’t just talk the values/shared quest talk; they consistently walk AND talk the values and vision into existence.

Courageous Leader: Clarity

Cowardly Leader: Ambiguity

2. A Culture of Consistency (vs A Culture of Chaos). The single largest differentiator between a Courageous leader and a Cowardly leader, by far, is that, with the Courageous leader, “what you see is what you consistently get”. I have certainly shared in the past, “if you don’t know what you stand for you never know when to take a stand.” Cowardly leaders are a bit like the weather leaving their teams on constant high alert uncertain which way their wind blows. Meanwhile, Courageous leaders are open-minded but steady forces who are rarely swayed or changed by outside factors.

Courageous Leader: Jekyll and Jekyll

Cowardly Leader: Jekyll and Hyde

3. The Truth (vs The Truth when Convenient). Let’s agree it’s hard (and lonely) to be a leader. How hard? While it isn’t your fault, some who report to you are afraid of you because your decisions can uproot their livelihood. We all wish we were in total control of our destinies; that simply isn’t the case for most in Corporate America. If you’ve worked your way into leadership, perhaps you are privy to information not everyone else has access to. It’s what you choose to share and how you share it that often makes the difference. While this doesn’t mean you should blurt out everything “transparently”; it does mean sharing the bad news even on the hard days. Everything in leadership is about choices, including the vessels you choose to utilize. The story I told above was a true story. Our team needed to feel our words not just with their eyes and ears but also below the neck. Let’s also agree that not every message needs to be delivered “live”. Pick and choose your spots. Perhaps the easiest take away here; sharing the truth leads to trust. Holding back the truth almost always works against you.

Courageous Leader: Trusted + Leading

Cowardly Leader: Not Trusted + Misleading

4. Why Not “We” (vs Why Not “Me”). When fear wins, many of us tend to get selfish. I’ve seen some of the most strategic people I’ve ever worked with use their strategic chops to protect their position inside their own company. Imagine if they just used that capital to advance the team. Cowardly leaders make it about themselves. Fear is exceptional at isolating us with our inner voice. It causes many of us to quietly murmur to ourselves, “Why Not Me?” Here’s the funny thing; when we actually share the good, the bad and the messy with our teams — when we make the cause a shared effort —  time and time again, I have seen the leader get rewarded by its team for doing so. Let’s acknowledge the leader is a mirror; if the leader makes it a “Why Not We” game it will be a team game. But if the team smells the leader is really playing a “Why Not Me” game, it will unlock an every-ME-for-themselves mentality.

Courageous Leader: WE-First

Cowardly Leader: ME-First

5. Conveys Tough Love (vs Conveys Tough). In business, not everyday can be full of double rainbows and unicorns. There are hard days, bad quarters, recessions, recalls and moments in time where we all deal with bad economies, poor performance or the realities of poor execution. When those moments arrive, can you deliver hard news without being “hard” yourself? That’s often the difference between a Courageous leader who delivers tough love and a Cowardly leader who just comes off cold and tough. The challenge: Stay human. Stay firm but fair. Leave the guesswork out of the conversation. But do so in a way where you can lean into those hard conversations but also come out the other side without losing your people.

Courageous Leader: Tone-Appropriate

Cowardly Leader: Tone-Deaf